Marriage: No rules just belief

Marriage. A lot of couples have/had a problem with it. In some point, some have or had a problem getting into it (commiting), some have or had a problem getting out (breaking). Even if we are so very careful in choosing; it remains the same we are very often tested and often vulnerable. There is no rules to follow to be successful in marriage or a secret to stay together, YOU, both of you just have to have values ... yeah! belief ... "belief" in the importance of your marriage. Your belief... your values about respect for the other person, about compromise ,about the importance of communication or talk. Belief about LOVE. That's the secret because there is no rules.

Neutral Corner

Couples do experience emotionally draining situation in the years they are together. And we often asked ourselves, can we still survive another years of marriage??? When fighting becomes a daily condition. When it seems that it is inevitable. When arguing is already a routine rather than something to share or express are opinions too. When nothing left or the only option we have is a silent retreat to our neutral corners..., So as not to prolong the arguments..., So as to stop fighting... Just be contended to keep quiet and just let it be, knowing that it will just die down. So as to stop ...

It is like our own little corner. This is your side of the bed.. this is mine. Our own neutral corner that we keep. Totally forgetting that without the other person you are incomplete. And that our neutral corners are not a solution rather than keeping your self away to what is really there. Reality. Avoiding what should be face .. what should be said...

Trully, there will come a time in your life when you will become in love with someone. So in love with that someone ... for this person you would do anything, even the craziest thing or even the things that normally you would never would have do. In doing this you'll never would have think twice. And you'll aked yourself why??? ...you have no answer. You'll try to figure it out, your whole life to understand how this person can affect you so much, but you'll never find out why. And no matter what, you'll love this person without regret... for the rest of your life..."

You, I and Us

In marriage we have to remember that in order to survive we have to learn how to maintain ourselves. We don’t have to change ourselves just for the other; if we do that we lost ourselves forever. When “I” meet “you” we become “US”. I and You is a separate person with his/her own identity/individuality. US is born because of the attraction that bound You and I together. The sharing become “us”. As we go on with our lives together we gain more and more of “us”. We are still I and you and we should continue that. It should never disappear nor forgotten as we develop “us”. Never give up the I and You because if something happens and you lose the "US" you still have "you" to go onto.

So Near YET so Far

"Better by far i will remember and be glad,
than by near i will remember and be sad... "

Despite of ? or In spite of ...

On an Wedding ceremony I recently attended a message from the priest strikes me deepest to my heart. During his sermon the priest says “you two from now on, you have to love each other not despite of but in spite of . And that struck me and keep me thingking , what’s the difference ? it looks the same to me .

Despite of - is a very negative thing to say to a person. It is more confine to something like

Despite of your looks…
Despite of your attitude…

But

In spite of – it brings something positive about your outlook. It connotes everything “entirely “.

In spite of having it all wrong I still love you…
In spite of treating me like that I still care..

So, now starts everyday by telling your partner not despite of but in spite of.

Being Inside Marriage

Marriage vows are like a New Year’s resolutions easy to make and impossible to live up to.

Resolutions such as;

1. Will respect each other.
2. Will trust each other.
3. Will care for each other.
4. Will stay together through thick and thin.
5. Etc. so on and so forth blah blah blah.

Like a resolutions these would only last for a couple years (5 years maybe) of being together and ends up resolutions gone forever.

So what’s the secret really of lasting happy marriage? A pair of eyes wide open.

A pair of eyes wide open to see that nothing in this world is perfect. Marriage is not just about love, it is about seeing your partner in all aspect. Seeing beyond good looks, happy face, loving and caring ways but seeing when in total ugliness , seeing in time of distress, in time of confusions, seeing when uncaring , and seeing in times of strays or infidelity; because seing from this point is the only time you understand what’s being inside a marriage is. A pair of wide eyes open is the only way to see and understands.

What’s your resolution??
To have A pair of wide eyes open.